Ripple Chocolate Massage Review

Ripple Chocolate? Lotion

I know, I know. A massage is not edible. It is not a place to visit, a dish to eat, or a bar to sit in. This massage, however, was a chocolate massage – see, definite food involvement. And besides, this is my blog and I can write whatever I damn well please. So there.

When the kind folks at Ripple offered me a chance to try their popular chocolate massage, I jumped at the chance. Chocolate, lying down, and being rubbed (um?) – what more could you want?

I admit I was a little nervous about my massage after reading the description on Ripple’s website: “Full body aromatherapy massage with warmed chocolate“. Like, actual chocolate? All over my body, not in my mouth/digestive system? “They could make fondue out of you,” said my housemate. Images of little bite sized pieces of Ally, alongside marshmallows, strawberries, and dipping implements sprung to mind. But you know, I’m open minded, so I went with it. Plus, I’d get a “gift of chocolates”. Woo!

The lovely Rae showed up at my house with perfect punctuality, and immediately set me up with a minty-scented foot soak. That’s the beauty of Ripple – they’re a mobile massage service, so you can happily slop around in your pjs until your masseuse arrives.

After the foot soak, I lay down and Rae got to work. I was exfoliated from top to toe with a lucious, thick, chunky and grainy scrub. I had no idea that being cleaned could feel so good.

After Rae managed to somehow rinse off the scrub without splashing water anywhere/messing up the carpet (the mind boggles), she massaged me with an oil that warmed as time passed. At one point, when she was working on my feet, I had the weirdest sensation – I think it’s called relaxation? My body felt like it was asleep, yet my mind was still awake and aware. Bizarre, but lovely. A green clay and cucumber face mask finished things off, along with a gentle head massage. Nearly two hours later I struggled up from the table, moving like a zombie and feeling at one with the world.

Now, while this massage was absolutely brilliant, I was utterly confused by one thing: where was the chocolate? Granted, this phrase often runs through my head, but in this case, I was disappointed with the answer. There was no chocolate melted on my body. There was no chocolate-scented scrub, oil, lotion, anything. Even the lotion I received at the end to keep, which was named ‘Chocolate Lotion’ did not smell in the slightest like chocolate. Plus I got no chocolates to eat, although it was nice getting some lotion (which, by the way, they make themselves -very cool).

Maybe there was a mis-communication. Maybe my sense of smell is totally off. But if you do plan to book the chocolate massage, maybe clarify first what it is you’re getting. But I’m so relaxed from what i did get, that I’m feeling pretty breezy about it.

Updated: Ripple assures me that it is actual chocolate lotion, but it’s ‘cut’ with oil, hence the reason liquid Cadbury wasn’t poured all over me. I’d like to clarify that it was purely my own impression from the website that it would literally be chocolate. Ripple have now updated their website so that idiots like me don’t get confused. Most important thing: I will also be receiving my chocolates in the mail.

Ripple Massage
Mobile Massage/Beauty Service

0438 567 906

Chocolate Massages from $180

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