Ripple Chocolate? Lotion

I know, I know. A massage is not edible. It is not a place to visit, a dish to eat, or a bar to sit in. This massage, however, was a chocolate massage – see, definite food involvement. And besides, this is my blog and I can write whatever I damn well please. So there.

When the kind folks at Ripple offered me a chance to try their popular chocolate massage, I jumped at the chance. Chocolate, lying down, and being rubbed (um?) – what more could you want?

I admit I was a little nervous about my massage after reading the description on Ripple’s website: “Full body aromatherapy massage with warmed chocolate“. Like, actual chocolate? All over my body, not in my mouth/digestive system? “They could make fondue out of you,” said my housemate. Images of little bite sized pieces of Ally, alongside marshmallows, strawberries, and dipping implements sprung to mind. But you know, I’m open minded, so I went with it. Plus, I’d get a “gift of chocolates”. Woo!

The lovely Rae showed up at my house with perfect punctuality, and immediately set me up with a minty-scented foot soak. That’s the beauty of Ripple – they’re a mobile massage service, so you can happily slop around in your pjs until your masseuse arrives.

After the foot soak, I lay down and Rae got to work. I was exfoliated from top to toe with a lucious, thick, chunky and grainy scrub. I had no idea that being cleaned could feel so good.

After Rae managed to somehow rinse off the scrub without splashing water anywhere/messing up the carpet (the mind boggles), she massaged me with an oil that warmed as time passed. At one point, when she was working on my feet, I had the weirdest sensation – I think it’s called relaxation? My body felt like it was asleep, yet my mind was still awake and aware. Bizarre, but lovely. A green clay and cucumber face mask finished things off, along with a gentle head massage. Nearly two hours later I struggled up from the table, moving like a zombie and feeling at one with the world.

Now, while this massage was absolutely brilliant, I was utterly confused by one thing: where was the chocolate? Granted, this phrase often runs through my head, but in this case, I was disappointed with the answer. There was no chocolate melted on my body. There was no chocolate-scented scrub, oil, lotion, anything. Even the lotion I received at the end to keep, which was named ‘Chocolate Lotion’ did not smell in the slightest like chocolate. Plus I got no chocolates to eat, although it was nice getting some lotion (which, by the way, they make themselves -very cool).

Maybe there was a mis-communication. Maybe my sense of smell is totally off. But if you do plan to book the chocolate massage, maybe clarify first what it is you’re getting. But I’m so relaxed from what i did get, that I’m feeling pretty breezy about it.

Updated: Ripple assures me that it is actual chocolate lotion, but it’s ‘cut’ with oil, hence the reason liquid Cadbury wasn’t poured all over me. I’d like to clarify that it was purely my own impression from the website that it would literally be chocolate. Ripple have now updated their website so that idiots like me don’t get confused. Most important thing: I will also be receiving my chocolates in the mail.

Ripple Massage
Mobile Massage/Beauty Service

0438 567 906
http://www.ripplemassage.com.au/index.html

Chocolate Massages from $180

Everyone seems to discount NY Slice as ‘just’ a place for a drunken feed. Well people-I’m about to change your life here. NY Slice is tasty. It does bloody good pizza. In my humble pizza-eating opinion, it’s the best ‘non-gourmet’ pizza I’ve ever had (and even beats most of the gourmet pizza I’ve had). It’s also pretty identical to pizza that is sold in New York, and in turn, boasts the sort of thin, crispy crust and delicate scattering of toppings that are reminiscent of pizza sold in Italy.

I’ll keep this short and sweet. Pizza is sold by the slice ($7~) or by the whole 18 inch pie. There are a few seats inside, but the step up is pretty basic. The pizza crust never gets soggy, and is always cooked evenly. The cheese is generous but isn’t overloaded, and the toppings are fresh and varied. Pictured is the Margarita (tomato, garlic, basil, mozzarella, romano cheese) and the BBQ Chicken (roasted chicken breast, BBQ sauce, mozzarella, romano cheese). The Margarita is awesome; simple, tangy, and delicious. One slice is enough for a light meal. They’re open late. They’re also in the city. Get off your high horse. Get to NY Slice.

New York Slice
Pizza Takeaway

360 Brunswick St
Fortitude Valley (also Brisbane CBD and Surfers Paradise)

(07) 3229 5557
http://www.newyorkslice.com.au

We had the ultimate in refreshing milk the other weekend at Milkbar. We passed Milkbar on the way to an errand in Newmarket, and it was a sign – I’d heard about them and had been wanting to visit. I believe there’s one at Ashgrove (is this a chain or a coincidence?)

Milkbar has tried to model itself on those old-school milk bars, offering the comforts of milkshakes, spiders, and old-fashioned lollies. I really love this concept, but I think Milkbar have fallen flat just a little bit. The little baggies of strawberries and cream are there, the extensive ice cream spider menu is there too, and there’s even kitschy seats and decorating. But let me ask you this: did your corner store have Asian Brown Rice Salad? No. No, you had a shrivelled up pork roll and you liked it. Did it have fancy little gingerbread cupcakes? No, you chowed down on stale doughnut men, damnit. While the cupcakes and salads looked pretty tasty, I’d love to see more old-school food. Pies! Doughnuts! Sandwhiches on blindingly white bread! We’ve heard of gastro-pub, what about gastro-milk bar? They do do an all-day breakfast though, which is very commendable.

So, like I said, we were craving some calcium. I got a Coconut Walnut Milkshake, and D ordered the Caramel Thickshake ($10.45 all up). There’s a huge range of milkshake and thickshake flavours, and you can order a ’skinnier’ version made with skim milk. My milkshake was tasty and has pleasant hints of coconut, but not much of the walnut. D’s thickshake trumped mine – it was super thick, creamy, and really sweet. In a word, awesome. Plus, they were both served in those massive silver tin cups – oh yeah. I felt like I was six years old again, except I don’t know many six year olds who…never mind.

The milkshakes are really good, but it’s a shame that Milkbar don’t, erm, ‘milk’ their concept a bit more. After all, milk is never a bad choice.

Milkbar Cafe

Windsor Homezone
142 Newmarket Rd, Windsor

(07) 3357 3009

When I was in high school, my BFF and I used to eat a crapload of chocolate. We’d sort of go a few days with no sweets, and then – boom – good bye Mr Cadbury. We’d very calmly demolish a block, and then go on our merry ways to school the next day, feeling fine. There was no such thing as a Food Coma, or the dreaded Food Hangover. We just sort of sucked it up and kept on going.

Now, I fear those days are behind me. Something has been happening to me lately. It started at Max Brenner’s, when I couldn’t finish my hot chocolate. It got worse when I managed to keep some Bittersweet truffles in my fridge for five whole days without touching them. And then there was the other day at Movenpick ice cream.

Damn you, Movenpick. Why are you so creamy? Why are you so sweet? Why did you make me feel ill after I demolished you?

It wasn’t Movenpick’s fault. Well, maybe it was. I had all intentions to get one scoop, but once I saw all the flavours I couldn’t stop at one. I got a scoop of Maple Walnut, and a scoop of White Chocolate. The Maple Walnut flavour was off the hook – these two are just a perfect flavour pairing. However, if my maple sense doesn’t fail me – and I’m pretty damn sure it doesn’t – I daresay it was artifical maple syrup. This funny after taste didn’t kick in until I was halfway through the scoop though, so it wasn’t too bad.

The white chocolate was amazingly creamy – if you’re a lover of really milky tasting, rich ice cream, you’ll love this flavour. Halfway through this scoop, I had another slightly negative experience, although it wasn’t with the flavour. It was just all too much. Something is happening to me. My tolerance threasehold for sugar is slowly building up, and I’m not sure I like it. I fought my way through most of the final scoop, then sat there clutching my belly, looking at my sad little pool of leftover ice cream.

So is Movenpick good? Yes, it is damn good. There’s also some seating, plus it’s open until 10.30pm, plus they make waffles. But bare in mind the ice cream is very, very sweet and creamy – even for sugar fanatics like I. It’s also a little on the exxy side – from memory, two scoops cost about $7? Go easy and you’ll reap the rewards.

Movenpick Ice Cream

Palace Barracks – Top of Caxton Street

Petrie Terrace

Open seven days until late

 (07) 3367 3988

http://www.moevenpick-icecream.com

Ice Ice Baby

Recently some friends and I were chatting about names, in particular, unisex names. “Yeah, like Courtney,” said Stank. Cue giggles from D and me, and arguing from Stank that Courtney is, in fact, a manly man’s name.

Well, my point is that names can throw you off sometimes. Like Iceworks, at Milton. ‘Cool restaurant and bar’ does not exactly come to mind when you heard the word ‘Iceworks’, does it? And yes, I know it’s where the old iceworks used to be, hence the title.

GG and I ate in the restaurant, although there is a cheaper bar menu too. I really liked the menu at Iceworks, and had a hard time deciding what to get. A lot of the starters sounded delicious (like the Pumpkin Salad with feta, avocado, spinach, cashews, green olive relish and pomegranate dressing, $18), but GG told me they were small serves. And, of course, there would be the problem of too much food if I ordered a starter and a main. Just call me Goldilocks. I need a meal size to be juuuuust right.

Iceworks Pumpkin Pizza

In the end I went for the Roast pumpkin with confit onion, garlic, rosemary and pecorino cheese pizza ($17), and GG got the Lasagne of Braised Beef Cheeks with rocket and cherry tomato salad ($22). The little minx also got a Mojito ($15), which she proclaimed satisfactory.

I was a little more subdued and got a glass of the Innocent Bystanders Pinot Gris, from the Yarra Valley ($9). It was hard to pick something from the wine list, mainly because the whites were a little on the small side. There were about double the amount of reds on there. The good news is that the beer menu is quite impressive – I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw Beer Lao on there. Iceworks is the only place outside of Asia I have ever seen Beer Lao. Amazing.

We got turkish bread ($10) to start. It was a generous serve of bread, and the large wedges were warmed and very tasty. It was, however, served with one dip. The tomato-based dip tasted a lot like spaghetti sauce sans meat. Weird. I would have loved a hommus or something like that.

My pizza was huge. The crust on it was perfect – thin, crispy, and chewy. It actually reminded me a bit of pita bread. It was great in that it didn’t weigh you down, even though it was so big (ok maybe I’m trying to justify eating so much of it). The toppings were simple but worked together well. I also loved the fact that it wasn’t drowning in cheese – really, just a small amount to hold everything together is all you need, unless you’re hungover. I felt the only thing missing was more herbs, or another sweet flavour to complement the pumpkin – fetta, or spanish onion perhaps.

Beef Cheek Lasagna

The lasagna had been baked in its own little dish. It was very tasty; the beef cheeks definitely added a new twist and bulked up the dish in my opinion. Just quietly – does ‘beef cheeks’ crack anybody else up? It sounds like the name of a Cow Porn mag.

The service was up and down on our visit. The timing was perfect, and dishes were brought out with an excellent space in between, but it took a loooong time for the bill to be collected. I also didn’t get asked if I wanted another drink, even though GG got a second one…small things I know but they make a difference.

Iceworks is probably one of those places you pass by a lot and make a mental note to go, but never actually do. It’s worth a visit: the pizzas are excellent value, the ambience is chic and comfortable, plus the location is handily at the crossroads of Milton, Paddington, and Petrie Terrace. I’ve gotten over the name thing and will probably return in the future.

And if your name is Courtney, and if you’re a dude, I apologise.

Iceworks
Restaurant and Bar
Corner of Given Tce and Dowse Street
Paddington, Brisbane

07 3367 9800

www.iceworks.com.au

But enough about me and my reckless young love life. Valentines Day is a great excuse to go out and eat some good food. Grab your friends, your homeslice, or your mum and embrace commercial holidays at their best.

1. Play hide’n’seek at Garuva. Okay, you probably should stay in your allocated room and not run rampant in a restaurant, but you’ll have fun at Garuva none the less. It’s very private, with each table curtained off in its own little world. Other romantic restaurants include Montrachet in Paddington, Ceylon Inn in Rosalie and Toowong, and Libertine at the Barracks.

2. Paddle in the moonlight with the Riverlife Adventure Centre. Look, kayaks scare me. There was an incident. I was 12. It was at Tallebudgera Camp School. I don’t want to talk about it. If you’ve got more balls than I, try the Paddle & Dine package. It’s a romantic 90 minute moonlit kayak, plus canapes, dessert, and sparkling wine at a riverside venue. Tickets are $89, and it starts from 7pm at Kangaroo Point. Check out www.riverlife.com.au 

3. Fully embrace the dangers of gas at a four course degustation. How comfortable are you with your lady or lad? Can you imbibe a large amount of rich food and alcohol, and sit there uncomfortably holding your butt cheeks together? Did I just go too far? Check out the Clovely Estate City Cellar Door (Red Hill) degustation with matching wines for $95. The music continue on the way home – you get a take home pack of cheese and chocolates. Toot along to www.clovely.com.au 

Finally, I would like to take this opportunity to wish my homeslice a Happy Valentines Day for this weekend, because he is the shiz. And because I like to make my readers vomit.

My second red carpet experience was much nicer (and cleaner). Vapiano officially launched last week, and pulled out all the stops to celebrate their opening, fluffy red un-stained carpet to boot.

Fresh basil pots at Vapiano

Vapiano is tucked away in one of the new CBD laneways, Albert Lane. Spread over three levels, the decor is sleek and modern. There are two bars, heaps of seating, and little pots of fresh basil on all of the tables (cute!).

Vapiano Chicken Pizza

We were offered a selection of beer, wine, and champers, but GG and I went with the fruity bellinis. We also sampled one of Vapiano’s dishes – pizza! The Barbqeue Pollo (normally $19) was damn good. Chicken breast, barbeque sauce, onion, smoked cheese, and mozzarella are a winning combo, although the chicken was a little thin on this pizza. The crust was thin and soft, with enough crispiness to hold the toppings. I loved the smoked cheese – it matched perfectly with that whole barbeque theme and made you feel like you were right next to a hot pizza oven.

Across the table GG was chowing down (I lie, she was delicately nibbling) on the Con Carne pizza (normally $19) -
ham, pepperoni, salami, barbecue sauce, own tomato base, and mozzarella. The meat looked a little more generous on this one, and the overall pizza got the thumbs up from GG.

Other dishes at Vapiano include pastas, salad, and antipasto. Prizes are good, too; pizzas and pasta start from $13. It’s surprising, given the surrounds are very swish and have a relaxed upmarket feel.

It’d be an ideal place for groups, as they have a uniqe swipe card system, where each person swipes their own card as they order drinks and food, then presents their own card at the end to pay. The days of awkward bill splitting and cries of “but I didn’t eat any garlic bread, why should I pay the $2 for it?” are long over.

I’ll definitely go back to Vapiano. The pizza was some of the best I’ve had in Brisbane, and it’s excellent value. Now, on to my next red carpet: pass the shiraz, please?

Vapiano
Albert Lane, Brisbane CBD

(07) 3221 4933

www.vapiano.com.au

1. Check out one of the biggest backyard BBQs at the Doomben Racecourse, in Ascot. The track will be home to a massive backyard BBQ on January 26, with $2 snags, $2 lamingtons, and $2 soft drinks. If that doesn’t grab you, check this out: Lincoln Lewis will be there. As in, son of Wally. As in, spunk from Home & Away. There will also be massive competitions, entertainment, and kids activities. For more information visit http://www.brc.com.au

2. Grab a beer and some free beef at the Lord Stanley Hotel. This East Brisbane pub is putting on a free BBQ between 3-5pm. The only catch? It’s only available with drinks purchase. Um, damn. For more information email lordstanley@ourhotels.com.au

3. Listen to the Hottest 100 in style at the Greystone Bar & Cellar. This funky Southbank bar will be playing the Triple J 2009 countdown live, plus they have a pretty tasty meny too. 7/166 Grey St, Southbank.

4. Grab a gourmet snag at Limes. This rooftop bar in the Valley will be hosting an all-day BBQ, plus playing the Hottest 100 and offering buckets of icy Coronas and Pure Blondes (where’s the XXXX and the VB though, Limes?) Visit www.limeshotel.com.au for more information.

5. Celebrate in an Aussie-named venue at the Melbourne Hotel. This West End venue are also jumping on the gourmet BBQ and buckets of icy beer bandwagon, and I love them for it. Email Penelope@themelbournehotel.com.au for more information.

An important part of Australia Day is acknowledging the fact that it’s the day the many subsequent problems with indigenous peoples started. While you enjoy your snag and dirty beer, please remember the true original Australians of this country. Getting off soapbox now.

I decided to do that recently (except work actually gave me the afternoon off. I’m no rebel) and went to meet Papa Bear for lunch at Jellyfish, John Kilroy’s riverside restaurant in Brisbane’s CBD. I was immediately drawn to Jellyfish’s setup: reminiscent of a chic coastal eatery at Noosa, the restaurant is open and airy, with many of the tables outside. Of course, the front-and-center view of the Brisbane River and the Story Bridge is quite the draw card too.

I experienced excellent service from the moment I walked in. While waiting for the table the bartender asked if I’d like a cocktail, the name of which I forget but it sounded incredibly refreshing. At midday? Goodness no. I’ll take a very large glass of wine, thank you. The wine list is huge, carrying varieties by the glass and bottle from Australia and beyond. The beer list is also pretty good, and is priced from a very reasonable $5.

And so I waited in the very nice bar area, sipping my delicious Riesling (2008 Henschke ‘Julius’, $12 per glass), feeling the sweat trickling down my back. Possibly my only complaint about Jellyfish: please air condition the bar area.

Jellyfish Barramundi

We were seated and the very friendly waitress described how Jellyfish worked. You could order off a regular menu, which featured dishes such as Tempura Soft Shell Mud Crab ($25) and Crispy Skin Duck ($38), or you could order off their fish menu. The fish is fresh daily, and therefore the offerings can vary. I asked the waitress to describe the Escolar ($29), and without missing a beat she gave a very detailed description of the taste and texture. She won over Papa Bear, who ordered it alongside a Vine Tomato, Caper, Anchovies, Caper, Olive, and Crouton Salad ($6). I went for the Barramundi ($29), and a side of Chilled Green Beans and Pistachio Pesto ($6).

Jellyfish suggest cooking methods and sauces to accompany each fish, but you’re free to mix and match as you choose. A Chermoula Emulsion* came with the grilled Escolar, and a Lemon & Shallot sauce accompanied my Barramundi. I elected to have mine grilled rather than oven baked. Other cooking methods included seared, garlic battered, and crispy fried (oh go on you nasty people. Get the crispy fried!)

A bit on the side

The presentation of the dishes was clean and simple, and the sauces came in little dishes on the side. I really liked this, as getting a piece of fish or meat that’s drowned in sauce can be really frustrating. Maybe I want to dip my fish and just get a bit of the sauce? Maybe I want to douse that baby in rich buttery liquid? Whatever. I should have the choice, and Jellyfish gave it to me.

The Barramundi was superb. I’m not really a ‘fishy fish’ type of girl, as weird as that sounds-I don’t like fish with strong flavours, apart from salmon. But this was fantastic. It was cooked perfectly, and had a light and buttery taste. The accompanying Lemon & Shallot sauce went with it really well, and didn’t overpower the fish. I happily started munching away on the curl of fried skin on top, thinking it was some sort of wafer (hey, I never said I was a food connoisseur). “This is great,” I said, “What is it? A cracker or something?”

“That’s the skin,” Papa Bear told me. I abruptly put it down. Could I still eat it? Was it just a garnish? He assured me it was fine to eat, so I happily picked it up and resumed skin munching. Note to self: deep fried fish skin tastes awesome.

Papa Bear’s Escolar was also really tasty. It had a richer flavour, and had a texture similar to seared sashimi. The Chermoula Emulsion was a bit too rich for my taste, but it paired well with the fish. The sides were fresh and were the perfect lunch partner for such a hot day.

Grown Up Fairy Floss

Clearly, eating deep fried fish skin wasn’t enough of an indulgence, as I decided to order dessert too. The White Chocolate & Violet Parfait with Persian Fairy Floss and Raspberry ($16) was drop dead gorgeous. I mean, really, you could put Persian Fairy Floss on your cat’s turd and it would look fetching, but this dessert tasted as good as it looked. The Parfait tasted very much like cake, and had a rich and creamy texture. When you put a bit of the Parfait and a bit of the Fairy Floss together on the fork, magical things happened. The Fairy Floss sort of melted away and then you were hit with the Parfait. If that’s not beautiful poetry, I don’t know what is.

I loved basically everything about my visit to Jellyfish. Even the bathrooms are amazing. Each stall has its own sink! (I’m a bit of a George Costanza, I like a good bathroom). We were served by about three people all up and every single one was polite, friendly, professional, and clearly very good at their job.

So people, the next time the mercury rises (most likely tomorrow), stop whinging about how hot it is, and go chill out. Get some seafood. Get a cold beer. Get to Jellyfish.

Jellyfish
Restaurant

Boardwalk Level, Riverside Centre
123 Eagle St, Brisbane Queensland

07 3220 2202

http://www.jellyfishrestaurant.com.au

* Chermoula is a marinade used in Algerian, Moroccan and Tunisian cooking. It usually has strong flavours of garlic and coriander.

Urban Hotel - home of the Gazebo Restaurant

I’m a creature of habit when it comes to food. At 10.30am, nearly every day, I can be found in front of my computer eating two fresh dates and sipping instant coffee. I always eat my soft lollies before my chocolate ones. And you’ve read before about my liking for ordering the same breakfast. 

It was a welcome relief recently to be able to try somewhere new that I might not have thought of otherwise. D and I were the lucky guests of the Gazebo Resturant, in the Urban Hotel in Spring Hill. I hadn’t heard of it before, which was unfortunate, as the hotel restaurant is a lovely spot. There’s seating inside, a chic bar area, and a large outdoor area. The outdoor area has a great relaxed feel-like you’re sitting on a friend’s patio, except the napkins are nicer (cloth!!!) and no one is passed out in the corner. 

We had imbibed a bit too much that night before at The Continental Cafe, so just went with Diet Cokes. I know, we are hardcore. The wine list, though, is huge, and I was pleased to see a variety of beers like Little Creatures. 

The menu is small, but there’s a range of dishes that would suit most tastes. Gaezbo also specify which dishes are gluten-free, which is heaven for the wheat intolerant among us. I went with the Pork Medallion with Braised Red Cabbage, Fig Compote & Port Reduction ($30). D puffed up his chest and ordered the very manly-sounding Heritage MSA Beef Fillet with a Sichuan Crust, Red Claw Yabbies, Roasted Royal Blue Potato and Salsa Verde ($40). We also did the nasty and ordered a side of Beer Battered Chips with Chilli Jam & Lime Aioli ($8).

The waiter who was serving us was truly fantastic. He was genuinely friendly, professional, and quietly attentive. It also says a lot that he only found out about halfway through the meal that I would be reviewing the restaurant, so his service definitely wasn’t biased or fake. 

Fancy a Pork?

I liked the cabbage salad too, but felt it was missing a little something. The pork, salsa, and salad went well together, but they needed something to tie it all together. I think the dish would benefit with another vegetable, or another flavour to the plate; without this, the cabbage sort of let the dish down with its blandness. 

Beef 'n' Bug

Best chips ever!

Needless to say, after large mains and a bucket of fries, we were stuffed. The desserts were crazily cheap ($8 each!?), but I just couldn’t fit it in. So, there we go: I broke a second habit that night. I didn’t have dessert. Gazebo, you and your chips have done something to me.

Gazebo Restaurant

Ground Floor

Hotel Urban, 345 Wickham Terrace, Brisbane

(07) 3831 6177

http://brisbane.hotelurban.com.au/restaurantbar

Thanks to Hotel Urban and the Gazebo Restaurant